Loosing My Best Friend – 2014

Hi All,

This for me is very hard to write about, when I say Loosing My Best Friend I don’t mean due to a death or an illness or anything drastic like that. I lost my Best Friend due to Money.. The sad thing is that I learnt that friends and money do not go hand in hand at all.. So let me try sum up the last 12yrs of my friendship with my Bestie.. you all know her as (CM)….

(CM) and I met about 12yrs ago at a new years eve party at a friends place. We got chatting and by the end of the evening we were attached at the hip and loving the fact that we had met. Over the years (CM) and I spent loads of time together, we had fun, we partied, we were single moms, we really got to know one another like sisters. We became Best Friends. We had our fights and our disagreements occassionally like all friends do and we split up as friends for about 2 yrs but we were Sisters and sisters belong together no matter what happens. After the 2yr fight we bumped into one another in a mall and I found out (CM) was as preggies as I was at the time. We made small talk and kinda made arrangements for coffee and then we had coffee.. Friendship fixed..Yay!!

(CM) had moved into the valley where I lived and we both had kids approximately 3 months appart from one another. (CM) had a little girl and as you all know I had (DR). We spent lots of time together with the 2 new babies and life was great. Then (CM) moved out the Valley and decided to start a new life out of the city. She hated the hussle and bussle of city life and decided she needed farm life, natural foods fresh from the farms and less traffic so off she went and moved 160km away from me. It was far but we still made plans to see one another. I used to drive up to visit her as often as possible and spent time with new friends and old ones too. Almost 4yrs passed and (CM) started getting home sick, it was time for her to move back to the valley. Time to get her life back into perspective, get an office job and make a proper life for her and her 2 girls.This decission did not work out as well as (CM) had hoped. As she left the farm land life and came back to the city she was faced with 6 months of living in a hell hole of a house shared with others and she was the only woman. So 6 months of her new life was a disaster start off but we soon fixed all of that, like we always fixed everything that went wrong in (CM)’s life.

We found her a stunning home in a little community about 5 minutes away from where I live, life was good and we were getting to see one another again more often. Awesome times ahead.. or so I thought.
I never imagined what was coming my way, I never imagined it possible. I mean come on, she is my BEST friend. (CM) would never do anything to hurt me, she would never betray or use or mislead the woman who was by her side through every rough moment for 12yrs..IMPOSSIBLE I SAID.. It will never EVER happen. I would give my life for (CM) and she would give hers for me, or so I thought. We are inseperable, we can overcome everything, any challenge the Universe throws our way. We are solid together, we are strong, independent, caring, loving sisters… OH HELL was I so wrong..

(CM) moved into thier new little home in the valley and she was unemployed at the time but we promised one another we would find a way to make things work so that the roof over her and her families heads was safe at all times no matter how rough things got, we would always have a plan.. No actually I would always have a plan. November 2013 (CM) was financially strapped and as always I stepped in wherever I could. (CM) said as soon as she was on her feet she would repay every cent because she knew that without me her and her girls would be on the street or worse. I wasn’t worried about it, afterall, she is my Bestie so I trust her. In a space of 6 months her and daughter number 2’s daddy split up and went their seperate ways. (CM) got an awesome job and started earning really good money but somehow just not enough to cover everything so I continued to pay various accounts and loan her cash here and there for groceries etc.

Now just to set the record straight about the accounts I was paying, in these 6 months I purchased a gorgeous and very expensive Multi Mixer, a Telkom Home line and ADSL line and 2 Samsung S4’s on my name. The arrangement was that she would pay her monthly bills directly to me because payments were being debited off my account directly – Why did I do all this you ask? Well (CM)’s credit record is up to maggots and she canot get credit.

So 6 months of doing this suddenly started to amount to a rather large sum of money and things started to get tight on my side. I was fighting to keep my car, (DR)’s school were sending me letters to say if arrears were not paid in full before term 3 started he would not be able to return to school and basically the gist of it all is that I was not in a position to pay all my own bills let alone cover the ones (CM) was supossed to cover. A contributing fact is that (DR)’s Dad (AF) has also not being paying maintenance due to also being unemployed since Octover 2013. Rough times in my life suddenly hit me with a very big bang and I needed to start replenishing the money I had been contributing to (CM) and her accounts.

Now you are probably thinking OMG.. whats coming next? Well you are so right, this is where the friendship hits rock bottom. In April 2014 (CM) and her new playmate rolled her car on Ou Kaapse Weg, thank fuck neither were injured but the car was a mess. This left (CM) without transport of any sort, she had to fetch kids from school, needed to get to the shops and around the valley. The normal day to day life of a single mom with 2 kids. So Angel steps in and fetches kids from school, picks (CM) up and taks her shopping whenever she needed and did what I could while the new playmate “fixed” the car. (Remodeling a car with paper maché?? OMF…REALLY??? Yip, that is SERIOUSLY what he is/was doing.)

Anyway towards the end of May 2014 I realised that fetching the kids and running around all the time was costing me a huge loss of earning work wise cos I was away from my office for about 20hrs a month which is a 2k/mnth loss and my petrol cost had gone from R400/mnth to R2000/mnth and this extra was coming out of my own pocket. Yes I was adding it to her bill for repayment but the repayments were not really coming in. (CM)’s bill finally reached a whopping 15k and I had to stop and think really carefully about how things needed to change. I mean (CM) was working and getting a decent income on a weekly basis but not contributing to petrol or wear and tear on my car. She made a few payments eventually but they were not enough to help with my situation which in turn caused stress on me and I got sick. So sick that I had no voice for 2 weeks.

It was time (CM) and I needed to resolve this money issue between us or our friendship was doomed. (CM) knew something was wrong and asked me to tell her, I wrote her a long email explaining how I felt and the situation I was in. I begged her to make a plan to pay the debt back every week until the debt was repayed. I asked her to find another solution for the kids to be fetched from school cos I could not afford it anymore… Well as you can all imagine, the shit hit the fan. (CM) responded to my email saying she had xyz and abc to sort out and she needed this and that for the car and I just needed to be patient because she needed to pay her mothers rent and the excuses were just to many to list. She had paid me R3500 back just before all this came about but out of that R3500, R2000 got used as petrol for the car and fetching kids which left me with R1500 to live off for the month. She threw it up in my face, blamed me for the fact that she could not afford to pay her rent due to paying me so much money and then she took a loan from her boss to hire a car for R2500/mnth… where the hell is the logic in THAT? Wouldn’t the logical thing have been to hand me the R2500 and say here Angel, put this towards petrol and give me a little time to sort out another solution please but Nope, she hired a fucking car that cost R2500/mnth.

It all really goes haywire from here… I landed up opening up a case of theft against her for the Samsung after I asked her to give it back so I could find someone else to take over the cost. I got my parents to go to her house with the Police to ask nicely for the ph which she refused to hand over saying it was hers and she was paying for it.. HUH, REALLY??? So I blocked the ph and the sim card and I cut the Telkom Line and ADSL as I had no other choice. The longer the lines stayed open the more debt was incurred on my name. If it is draining you, cut it off and it won’t drain you anymore.. RIGHT??? I then took things further and handed over the total outstanding debt to my Lawyers to deal with and I cut all contact with (CM).

About 3 weeks ago (CM) appears at my front doorstep asking me to sign papers to release the Telkom line into her name. Naturally I refused, I asked her to pay the outstanding R1500 on the Telkom line and to sign a letter of acknowlegement of debt with my lawyers, make a set arrangement to pay me on a weekly basis and I would sign over the line. (CM) blew a gasket of proportion on my front stoop, tore up the Telkom paperwork, threw it in my face and stormed off my property screaming all the names under the sun she could possibly muster up in her fit of rage.. This all happened while her 2 kids were sitting in the hired vehicle witnessing their mother carrying on like a common tramp. This is were the most heart wrenching realisation of my life came to light.. I had lost my Best Friend, my Sister, My Muskateer.. what now?

The lesson I have learnt from this ordeal is that you can trust no one when it comes to money, not even your Bestie. Money breaks friendships, marriages and relationships. I also learnt to see through manipulation, deceit and lies. I was in a manipulative friendship that was completely one sided and would never have changed no matter how much i prayed it would. (CM) is a master at manipulation and unfortunately for her she will go through the rest of her life believing that everyones owes her something. Out of this all I have learnt that she is completely dilusional about what has happened and strongly beleives I was in the wrong… People like (CM) do not deserve to have people like me as pat of their lives and so the 12yrs of our friendship has come to a bitter and sad ending… I lost My Best Friend, My Sister and I lost a piece of my heart… I sish you the best of luck (CM), maybe someday you will see that you lost the rare diamond you had in your life..Never again will you have a Sister like me….

Love and Light



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